


Trichotomy

by cardigan_carm



Series: The Rule of Threes [2]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Action/Adventure, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Anal Sex, Angst and Feels, Bottom Shiro (Voltron), Casual Sex, Cheating, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Eventual Fluff, F/M, Keith (Voltron)-centric, Lance (Voltron)-centric, M/M, Masturbation, Mental Instability, Mild Language, Misunderstandings, Multi, Nonbinary Pidge | Katie Holt, Not Beta Read, One Night Stands, Other, Plot, Rape Recovery, Shiro (Voltron)-centric, Smut, Tension, Vaginal Sex, intersex shiro
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-12
Updated: 2018-11-10
Packaged: 2019-02-01 14:44:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 12,229
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12707088
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cardigan_carm/pseuds/cardigan_carm
Summary: A continuation ofTrifecta.Shiro is recovering from the trauma Zarkon has caused him during his time as champion.He's no longer leading the Voltron Paladins and his team has been fractured under his command.Will he remain with team Voltron or will he go his own path?





	1. Continuation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the beginning of the second arc of The Rules of Three Series.  
> This will explore a lot of self evaluating and getting past one's shortcomings.  
> This will be about the feels, but also in establishing the Voltron Coalition.  
> Hope you like! (੭•̀ω•́)੭̸*✩⁺˚  
> I will warn you that any mistake you find are my own and will be corrected later.
> 
>  
> 
> **Story formerly known as Triangulate... ******

It had been months since they had defeated Zarkon, but the fight was far from over. The Paladins of Voltron had plenty of work to do in the interim. Yet the team was fractured and Shiro knew it was because of him. He couldn’t pilot Black Lion and it was due to emotional and mental instability as he hadn’t recovered, lapsing after that brutal showdown with Zarkon. He was thankful to Keith, to Thace and the Red Lion, they had saved the day while he had flounder.

So much was sacrificed for the war. He felt guilty for living, where others had perished.

Voltron was incomplete now and they couldn’t form the big guy without Red Lion, he was responsible, the deaths were on him since he was the former leader. Shiro knew being kidnapped made him a liability. He knew it and Keith was blaming himself even though Shiro knew it was his fault and for the moment he shied away from the team. Hid from his boyfriends. He questioned if he should even claim them as his lovers? He wasn’t strong enough nor was he fit to lead, they didn’t need him as Allura had assumed duties as team leader. Though she didn’t wear the colors of the Black Paladin, instead she don her own colors. In its place, she wore pink as that was the color of mourning and remembrance of those that had fallen, an Altean tradition. Even seeing her in her own Paladin armor stung Shiro deeply.

Lance had tried along with the rest of the team to keep him involved, but he couldn’t face them. He was a failure and a burden. How could he lead, all this had shown him that he was inadequate to be the head of Voltron. He was lacking, so not only was he drawing away, he pushed his lovers and friends away too. So much for making up with them –.

He was betraying Thace’s last words –.

He couldn’t get passed his demons, he had dreams on top of everything else. They were sometimes erotic at first, but then it always ended badly. Him becoming violent with one of his boyfriends as he would become unwilling during a passionate moment. Shiro would become afraid during the intimate encounter, but his lovers would continue ignoring his pleas to stop or continue without his consent. He always awoke when it shifted to him lashing out in the dreams or when he saw Zarkon replace their faces. 

He was dreaming this now, whimpering in his sleep as he thrashed about and whining.

Shiro shot up, gasping and alone thankfully as he found solace in that. He made a strangle sound as the dream’s images of Keith and Lance twisted in pain caused by him made his stomach roll. A frustrated growl in his throat as he clenched his forelock in hand and yanked, tears spilling from his storm colored eyes. He began to sob brokenly as he brought his knees up and in, elbow resting on one. He hated this, hated himself and wished that it wasn’t so damn bad. It was difficult, this was his trial and he had to go through it alone, somehow.

“Not alone young one,” a new voice, one that was not familiar. An intruder? How? Impossible, his head snapped up as his wet eyes gleamed and his strong body tensed. Before him was a young girl and he blinked, shock evident, even in the dark.

“Lights,” he commanded thickly, tone still twanged with emotions. “Who’re you?”

“Takashi –. We are partners, are we not?” She paused. “I’ve assisted you previously and I will help once again. This time in the form of my choosing.” The young girl with mocha colored skin and ebony hair, long and wild. She wore robes, ancient yet nevertheless reminiscent of Altean influence, elegant appearing. Her eyes were golden, pupils aglow with luminescent yellow as her freckled face stretched into a fanged smile. She had cat ears that twitched and what appeared to be a golden horn-like headdress sticking from her hair.

Shiro’s lip quirked, eyes slowly growing owlish as he was baffled by the tween in his quarters. Then he gasped as he tossed the sheets away and stood, towering over the small figure. She was tinier than Pidge, he slowly knelt before her as his look melted into amazement. “Black?” His one remaining hand reaching out to her.

Her eyes twinkled like golden stars and a wide smile came to her full pout. “Yes. It’s been sometime,” her hand outreaching as she smoothed his hair, it was getting longer now. “I want us to be together again Takashi. You must be well before we can work together once more.” Slowly she drew him in cradling his head to her stomach. “I will be here with you. You are not alone. I will help you overcome this.”

He tipped his head up looking at her as tears gathered in his eyes. “Thank you.”  
\--  
It had been hell lately for all of them, the team was strained since their first major victory against the Galra. Lance had tried to get the details in the beginning, but both Shiro and Keith had been closed mouth about what had went down on Zarkon's ship. He couldn’t blame them as they had lost a lot that day. 

He could still remember when they got back to the castle-ship. He, Pidge, and Hunk along with Coran raced to Black Lion’s hanger as it was the last to arrive. Getting to the others as they were safe, the Galra were leaving the solar system and they didn’t think to ponder it as they needed to check on the group. The last transmission they had received was from Allura and she was heavy-voiced as she had let them know that Thace was gone.

When they arrived, they were met with sobbing and Lance stood frozen for only a split second as Keith was staring down at the still form of his father and large dollops of tears came plopping out of his eyes as they landed on Thace’s face, he cried silently as he didn’t move. Just staring down as Allura wept softly and Shiro was apologizing profusely, near hysterical. 

Lance came over to Keith and Shiro as they were huddled over the body, Coran had gone to Allura’s side as he began to console her. Hunk and Pidge stood idle, unsure on what to do or who to speak to. Eventually, Coran ushered the rest away leaving the three to have space, but he said he’d be in the vicinity once he got Allura and the others settled which Lance acknowledge with a simple nod.

The Blue Paladin had begun to speak, just talking and keeping his words low and gentle as he draped an arm over each of their shoulders as he shielded them. It took him about an hour to get Shiro to calm down, he had grown sluggish as his nerves and adrenaline wore off. Then Keith’s tears dried up and he finally responded, coming out of his own headspace enough to slowly sag against Shiro and Lance. 

He simply murmured a quiet “thanks.” Then it fell quiet between the three of them, Lance gave his throat a rest and they sat in silence with Thace’s cold form before them. After a time, Keith finally spoke. “We should all go to the infirmary.” His blue-pink eyes drifted down and landed on his father. 

“Yeah,” Lance said before he looked over his shoulder. “Coran,” he called, and it was like instant transmission, the ginger Altean appeared, ready to assist. “Can you help Shiro? I’m going to help Keith carry Thace,” he explained as they began to move after sitting for what felt like hours. 

“Of course, Lance. You three need to go into the healing pods.” He kept his voice demure, his typical high energy absent at the moment as he began to go over to Shiro and help him up. Lance found himself taking Thace’s legs and Keith cupping him under the arms, their group made an unhurried venture from one part of the castle to the medical bay.

It was a dour trip to the infirmary –.

That was three months ago —. 

A lot happened within those ninety days, the Earth was fully aware of what had transpired, and the Paladins were now hailed as heroes. Earth joined as an ally in their newly forming coalition. They met the Blade of Marmora, acquainting with their members. Ulaz a senior member, recognized Shiro and learned of Keith’s heritage. He had taken Keith under his wing, which was something Keith needed at the time.

They went from planet to planet with the Blade assisting here and there as they liberated each place they visited. Even though they grew in alliances, the team wasn’t a whole. Keith had eventually left, working with the Blade and learning from them. Without Red Lion he had considered himself a retired Paladin and he felt he would thrive with the Blade. 

Shiro had pulled away as well since Black Lion wouldn’t respond to him, only Allura. So, she stayed in command and Lance hated to think this, but it was for the better as he had noticed that Shiro wasn’t a hundred percent okay. He was struggling and unable to be comfortable with any of them, it was understandable as he knew of what was done to his boyfriend. Shiro remembered his whole captivity now and he could only imagine the horrors his mind would recall.

Lance tried, really tried to be there for both of his boyfriends, but like before he was left behind and alone. He wasn’t sure they were even dating anymore, but unlike last time he didn’t become angry, this time he accepted it. The drift was inevitable. He couldn’t help them if they were unwilling to help themselves and simply from just observing he could tell both were in the thicket of denial and hurt. The Blue Paladin would let them be, but he couldn’t lay in wait for his lovers to come around.

So, with each planet they visited and freed, he’d meet the girls there and flirt. Nothing ever came of it and it was nice to get attention, taking selfies and laughing and just having fun. It was nice, a breakaway from the glaring issues:

One getting the Voltron Coalition up and going.

Two, his lack of love life at the moment.

Sometimes he missed being a dumb teenager. He hardly had time to think of those things, now with both Keith and Shiro M.I.A., he had to step up in his own way to support Allura.

With her piloting she had to ensure anytime they went out that she supplied enough of her energy to the castle-ship before they went out on missions. Coran had to pilot it alone during those times, when they had to take out a warship or two, or if they had to infiltrate occupied Galra installations on a planet. It was always something, he had thought the moment Zarkon was out the picture the Galra would roll over, but it was not the case. The exact opposite, the Galra rallied even more.

Lance came out of his thoughts, feeling an oncoming headache forming and he groaned as he rubbed his temple. At the moment he was headed towards Allura’s personal quarters, this had become a thing as of late. One of the things Lance had prided himself on was making sure Allura was taken care of, getting enough rest and all. She was juggling many things, commanding the castle, spearheading the resistance, acting leader of the Voltron Paladins and being a Princess.

With Lance being her right-hand man, he kept a watchful eye out. Even Coran was thankful for it. That said –.

They had a diplomatic lunch earlier that day and as they were taking their leave, the Blue Paladin had spotted Allura’s hands and gasped. He took her elegant palm in his gloved one, looking at her long fingers and examining. “Oooh gurl,” he began, and she blinked with surprised eyes. 

“What?! What is it Lance?” She pulled her hand back and began to examine, trying to see what was amiss with her hand.

“Your nailbeds are looking rat~tay,” his eyes narrowed as he gave her a look. “You need some work.”

“Oh?” Her mouth held the o-shape before casting her own blue glance at her fellow Paladin. “Should we have a gal & pal night?”

“Indeed,” he breathed boorishly and they both cracked a smile before chuckling.

Coming out of the earlier memory he gave a small smile as he knocked on her door and she beckoned him in. He had his basket of spa products and tools. 

Gal & Pal night (she was the gal and he was the pal) was commencing, they’d do mani-pedis and facials. It was nice as they would giggle and laugh for an hour or two before going to bed. The two of them could simply be teenagers and talk about nonsense in these moments. Coming into her room the door swooshed shut behind him and he came over with a wave and grin. He could feel the crease in his cheek from smiling, the scar on his skin didn’t fade after he was healed in the pod nor did the large scar on his shoulder. 

A reminder of that dark day.

“Whatcha been up to?” He asked pushing the thought away as he settled on the floor, his back pressing to the foot of the bed as she was laid on top of the mattress. 

“I was talking to Keith a bit ago –, uhm he’s doing well with the Marmora.” 

“Cool, cool. Good to hear,” his tone stayed pleasant. He was aware Allura knew they weren’t talking. Keith hadn’t contacted him, not since he left, and they saw each other only on missions. It hurt, but he’d dwell on that later. “You ready to have your cuticles looking on point?”

“Mm yes, I don’t want them to be rat~tay as you had intoned earlier.”

“Sorry, but they were and you’re a Princess. You gotta be on Fleek.” He tipped his head back looking up at her as she blinked at him in confusion. 

“Fleek?” One of her brows arched up high.

“I’ll explain later,” he snorted with a grin as she climbed down to stand beside him. “C’mon Princess let’s go beautify!” He stood up and they went towards her bathroom.  
\--  
Keith had closed the communication down with Allura, it was good to see her and her smile. It made him feel comfortable in his own skin for a time. It chased his pain away and he was thankful nothing had happened to his sister or the other Paladins. Being out here with the Blade eased his heart.

After that showdown with Zarkon he was misplaced, he had lost so much that day. His two biological fathers, Alfor and Thace, his partner Red Lion who he could feel the presents of sometimes and that caused nothing but heartache. It was a reminder of his failures, he couldn’t protect any of them. To say the least it sucked.

Keith did something unlike himself, he wallowed, but the feeling didn’t last long as he was befriended (if you could call it that) by Ulaz. The older Galra approached him, spoke to him and gave him the idea of a different purpose. Keith knew he wasn’t being recruited, but he jumped at the opportunity. He thought on it long and hard, taking days and maybe weeks before he had decided it was time for him to move on. 

If need be he could be the point person between the Paladins and the Blade of Marmora. He’d be one of their agents and it gave him a chance to go back to what he knew best, being solo and rarely working in a team dynamic. It was easier to be alone and he embraced when he was sent on covert intel missions, gathering information on the Galra empire and relaying it back, keeping tabs on them. 

Ulaz apparently came back into the fold and decided guarding a communication outpost was now out of the question for him (and also because he destroyed it). He felt he’d be serving their purpose better if he was part of the larger group and working with Kolivan being the communication and science officer. He was one of the more season Blade members and Kolivan their leader heeded his words.

Keith had noticed that Ulaz had taken a shine to him, kept an eye on Keith and keeping him under his wing as a newly joined member. The Galtean knew deep down that Ulaz was keeping an eye on him for his deceased father’s sake. Or some such nonsense. He had learned from bits and pieces there that Ulaz was a long-standing friend and comrade to Thace. They had history and had worked together for years before Ulaz had decided to save Shiro and blow his cover. 

It was strange that the universe worked in such a way. It made it seem like a small world, though Keith knew it was vast. What were the odds of all of them meeting? Keith sighed, scratching his white hair as he sat in his tiny quarters as he held the dagger in hand looking at his only heirloom from his parents. He squeezed the hilt and rested his forehead on his knees as he tried to push his thoughts aside of his fathers.

Usually, when he thought of his dads his mind eventually wondered to Lance and Shiro, he missed them so much, but it was better this way. Anybody who was remotely connected to him abandoned him in some way, either they died or something else. After Zarkon’s defeat he hadn’t missed the way Shiro had looked at him. Keith made sure he was human appearing, but kept his Altean features – it wasn’t enough. Shiro would flinch and so he made distance. Lance tried to communicate and be close, it was almost smothering. He knew Lance meant well, but it wasn’t helping.

He pulled back from the Blue Paladin as well so he could prevent himself from blowing up at Lance. Keith knew his boyfriend didn’t deserve the backlash, so he prevented it. In the times now where the Blade worked with team Voltron he could see the longing in those deep blue eyes and Lance’s face betrayed that he missed Keith. Keith missed him as well and missed Shiro.

He longed for his mates –. Needed them close, but he couldn’t afford to have more blood on his hands.  
\--  
The witch was always ever present by her master’s resting chamber, she would not leave him or let any see him. She would dare not leave Zarkon alone with any Galra or Druids. The sovereign was vulnerable in this state, their enemies had done their intended damage to the Emperor of the known universe. If only she had seen such an attack coming and wasn’t weakened from the draw of power she had used to energize the Robeast Alfor and doing battle against Allura while she piloted the Black Lion. By the time Haggard realized it was too late and everything had come to past. 

Now things within the empire were in disarray, spiraling out of control. She tried to command from Zarkon’s side, but it was proving difficult as usurpers dare to make names for themselves while their conquered systems were growing restless and testing boundaries as if they could break free from the Galra’s hold. Haggar heard rumors of the Paladins trying to gain support by starting a ridiculous movement, a coalition. Every area they liberated joined, but without the full might of Voltron they were helpless when you analyzed everything. They were without a Lion and couldn’t form Voltron.

Her brow furrowed, even though they had the numbers, yet the organization was lacking stability, and she knew she couldn’t keep control over them. They needed a monarch, someone who could rule and guide them until Zarkon was resurrected. But who? Zarkon had no heir and the Queen had been lost. She tutted as she rose from her sitting position and loomed over him as the corrupted quintessence twinkled around him as the tube fed the raw power to his recovery chamber as he slumbered in his coma.

His body was starved needed the power to recover and she’d make sure he had all the energy he needed. 

Haggar’s frail and boney hand reached out, wanting to ghost her fingers over his brow as he rested. The feeling bloomed suddenly in her and she couldn’t identify where this feeling came from, but it was there. She could feel the heat radiating off his skin and her fingertips touch his smooth scale-like skin and then flatten the palm. She had never touched her Emperor before and she let out a shaky breath, the relief and astonishment didn’t last long –.

Images flooded her mind’s eyes, a review of long forgotten memories surfacing as if she had lived a previous life and in a way, she did. She saw everything. Remember everything and knew that this man next to her was not only her Emperor, but also, her beloved mate. Haggar recalled her previous life.

Alfor had introduced her to the Emperor of Daibazaal and she was instantly enamored. 

She remembered meeting Zarkon, they were different back then. A twinkle in both their eyes and wanting to do good. They fell in love and it moved slow, it was pure in the truest form.

Back then she was an alchemist and loved learning and figuring out the uses of quintessence. All her studies and work were harmless until those comets landed on Daibazaal and she researched them, learning all that she could. Unbeknownst to her and her husband, she was with child, but they eventually found out and were overjoyed. They were preparing even though it was the early stages of pregnancy, but they later lost their child.

They never got to meet their son Lotor.

Honerva learned it was from exposure to the Trans-Reality comet and it had also resulted in her becoming barren. It was a blow for her and Zarkon, instead of concentrating on the loss she devoted herself into her work which her mate allowed. With each day, week, month and years that passed, she began to waste away without a care and would forgo everything just in the name of research and learning the mysteries of time and space.

During this time her fellow alchemist Alfor had created a weapon, she was impressed, but couldn’t be bothered as Zarkon and his comrades became the pilots of these Lions which formed a larger and more powerful weapon called Voltron. It was fascinating, yet couldn’t hold her focus, so she went back to her devout work and immersed herself as her husband played hero in the galaxy. 

As the years carved away, her heath declined. She was on her deathbed, raving, even in that state she could recall Zarkon’s heartache. And then there was an endless void of nothing before she remembered a jarring sensation and coming too, as if summoned from the dead. Vengeance and anger swelled within her bosom and she’d server her Emperor, forgetting she was his Empress. She assumed the alias Haggar and thus began her new life as the Druid witch.

They conquered and destroyed Altea, captured Alfor and subjugated him to countless experiments and cloned him for Zarkon’s twisted pleasure. They cloned the Altean King over and over, torturing the original with the memories his clones possessed and using him as a lab rat. 

They also dominated the known universe, expanded the Galra Empire and were successful for ten-thousand years. A feat no one else, but them could accomplish.

Her hand came off her lord’s brow as if she had been scaled, hand clutched to her chest as a ragged gasp tore from her lips and she panted, on hands and knees. In her haste her hood fell away to reveal her reflection in the shiny, polished floor. She stared at herself, lip pulled back and showing teeth. Below the purple skin and age-lines was Honerva staring back.

Honerva was the key. She could rule where Haggar couldn’t. She was the Empress and could assume command. 

She could take revenge on them, avenge what they had done and completely destroy the Altean royal line. Claim what was left of Voltron and restore Zarkon to health. She could do this. Would do this because she was the Empress.

She was – no, is Honevra.

At the same instance, she existed as Haggar.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> EDITED: 11.17.17
> 
> Hope you enjoyed this! I know I did.  
> I have to finish up and start some new fics, but I will not leave this idle long...  
> Like I did for the last two chapters of Trifecta. ╰(　´◔　ω　◔ `)╯  
> If you haven't read Trifecta then please go do so, that's where this lovely story starts.  
> (੭ˊ͈ ꒵ˋ͈)੭̸*✧⁺˚ See ya!
> 
>  
> 
> Okay, well Kudos are awesome, bookmarking is cool  
> and leaving a comments is appreciated!  
> (Carm is thirsty for those comments though!)  
> :*･ﾟ☆.｡.:*･ﾟ￡(｡･”･)o[†…Thanks for reading…†]o(･”･｡)β｡.:*･ﾟ☆.｡.:*  
> [cardigan carm's tumblr](https://cardigan-carm.tumblr.com/)


	2. Eavesdrop

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Angst Angst **Angst**  
>  (⋅⃘˕̭⋅⃘)

Lance sighed as he had finished liberating another planet with the help of Hunk and Pidge. They had the Blade of Marmora there with them as ground support, it was still grueling and hard, having these dog fights with the Galra. Yet, weirdly enough it was coming by easier and easier, the fighting aspect of protecting the universe, but still –, was mentally taxing. Even if the reward was keeping the innocent safe and freeing the enslaved, it still took a toll on all of them. If only he could chat with his mom or sisters, it would make this better for his heart.

He had wished they could’ve remained on Earth a bit longer.

It was hard to believe that the fight for their home planet was three months ago. That was the toughest hardship they had endured as a group, but it made some of them stronger for it, but for others it had broken them. 

Like Shiro.

And possibly Keith.

Lance wasn’t sure how either were fairing since he hadn’t really seen them. When they worked with the Blade there wasn’t any sign of Keith lately. He’d feel weird asking about him, coming off like he was desperate or something and he didn’t have time to luxuriate or pine. Being a Paladin meant you always pushed forward even if you didn’t want to.

Could Shiro and Keith be progressing as well? Just without his knowledge, Lance wasn’t sure. 

He pulled off his helmet as he exited Blue and wanted to meet with the others. Allura was probably figuring out where’d they go next. He just hoped it wasn’t some crazy chunk of the universe that was heavily occupied by the Galra. He needed a little bit of a breather for his mental state.

Lance walked, going towards the transport where it would lead to the castle-ship’s bridge. It was a quick trip in the elevator as it zoomed him upwards. Coming into the hallway he began to walk towards the open doorway but stopped. 

Was that Shiro’s voice? 

Ducking quickly out of view he stood near the threshold of the bridge, casting his hearing out to listen. It was stupid he knew to eavesdrop, yet something in his gut told him to do so. There was also an inkling of guilt that began to grow in his chest, but it wasn’t enough to stop him. Lance knew if he had entered that room the discussion would stop, and he’d have no clue what was going on. It was sneaky, to do this, but it was better this way. He inched closer, peering around the corner spotting Shiro.

At the sight of him his heart dropped, he hadn’t seen him in sometime. His boyfriend had been a practical ghost haunting the halls of the Castle of Lions. He had kept a rather low profile, Lance knew that Shiro was battling some insane inner demons. If it were him, he figured he probably handle things similarly.

He couldn't imagine what Shiro was feeling and thinking, probably driving himself nuts with his thoughts. He just prayed that Shiro didn’t get so down and depressed he’d hurt himself. Lance pushed the thought aside, not wanting to think that of Shiro. He knew the former leader of Voltron was stronger than that and wouldn’t succumb to such. He hoped, prayed even.

That also planted a seed of guilt in him just even thinking Shiro could do harm to himself.

Again, he shoved his swirling thoughts down and guilt. Pressing to the walls he stilled his breath, thinking Allura and Shiro could hear it. He could almost hear the thrum of his pulse as he tried to catch what they were saying –.

“S-Shiro you can’t mean that?” Allura gasped in concern as she whirled on him.

“I do, I’m sorry –. I-I know it’s selfish and this is a critical time for the team, and the coalition.” A tired sigh left him as he deflated before her. “I’m not contributing to the cause so I need to remove myself. Being here isn’t helping me get better.”

“We could support you in whatever you need, you shouldn’t be alone during this.”

“None of you can help me.” A pause as if Shiro was gathering his thoughts. “I’m sorry, but you can’t help me overcome my demons.” There was a soft sigh of resignation from Allura. “I need time,” he pleaded as his eyes, mouth, and whole expression winced, showing the pain and anguish he experienced. 

It was silent between them before Allura gave a slow tentative nod. “We’ll give you whatever you need. If you must leave then please keep in contact with us.” It was quiet again. 

Lance’s heart pounded as he listened, he felt wounded knowing that Shiro didn’t feel like he could lean on them. It hurt to know that because of the trauma he experienced that he needed to go elsewhere to heal. The brunette let out a silent shaky breath and felt the heat flood his face. Lance was heartbroken by Shiro’s words.

It did feel like things were truly over. Even before they could try again and ease one another. Lance knew Shiro was hurting, but he wanted to be there for him and be a pillar. Unfortunately, Shiro didn’t see him that way. He felt a physical pain in his chest just overhearing the conversation.

“Will do Princess.” He finally murmured. 

“Thank you Shiro –, we would be devastated if anything were to happen to you.” Again, the conversation fell for a stretch of seconds before Allura spoke up once more. “Where will you go?”

“I’m not sure –. I was hoping to borrow one of the ships when I take my leave.”

“Of course! Like I said, whatever you need. Please be sure to stock up before your departure. Do you have a timeframe of when you’ll leave?”

“Two quintants, I think.” That was two days away.

Allura’s blue-pink eyes fell on Shiro as she stood before him, seeing how dark the circles were under his eyes. He wasn’t sleeping, and she could easily tell. “That is short notice.” The Princess didn’t know what else she could say. It was painful to see him so distraught, but if he needed time away then so be it. She just hoped he’d call if he was in any sort of trouble.

“I know, I’m sorry.” Shiro’s shoulders sank as he said this. 

“Do not be sorry. I just hope Hunk and Pidge finish the project they’ve been working on for you before you leave.”

“What project,” Shiro asked. It was the first time that Lance hadn’t heard the former Paladin not sounding so depressed or defeated. 

“I rather not spoil the surprise,” Allura smiled happily as she winked.

That gave the older man pause as he was curious what the two youngest Paladins were working on.

Lance had heard enough and decided to forgo the briefing with Allura to instead go towards his quarters. He didn’t want Shiro to leave, it didn’t sit well with him. Instilled was a dread that if Shiro left he’d never come back and that feeling alone scared the shit out of him. He quickly walked away from the bridge running into both Pidge and Hunk. Instead of stopping he continued on with a tiny wave. “Sorry I gotta bounce, I have something I need to do. Will you brief Allura about how the mission went with the Blade.”

“Yeah we can do that. Um is everything alright man?” Hunk asked, his honeyed eyes showing concern. 

He didn’t want to be untruthful, but he knew Hunk and Pidge would learn the truth soon. He also knew what project the two were working on for Shiro. They were in the process of creating a new arm for him, hoping that would make him feel better. It was a sweet gesture, he wished he could contribute but Lance wasn’t one for mechanics or engineering. Lance was a marksman first and a pilot second, he didn’t have the know-how for building technology.

Giving a small nod, he gave the best crooked grin he could. “Yeah dude.” He had lingered enough and began to walk before more could be asked of him. “I’ll see ya in a bit,” he began to leave the two as he went towards the sleeping quarters.

Lance made a direct route towards his room. The door slid open for him automatically, recognizing him as he came in. Grabbing his control pad, he sat on his bed and began to open a private communications channel. Allura had showed him how and he began to patch a connection through, another thing she had shown him in their countless Gal & Pal times they had. 

_“If you need to contact Keith here’s how…”_ Lance could remember the quiet in Allura’s voice as she began to show him.

Replaying the memory, he began to do just that. He waited, hoping that the other wasn’t on mission or something, that would be unfortunate if Keith was. Lance waited on pins and needles. The screen blipped, blinking as it switched over and Keith’s face appeared, a small frown on his face. 

“Hey Keith,” Lance began nervously as the frown melted from Keith’s face to be now a blank expression. “I need to talk to you.”

“About what? I’m about to deploy on mission.” He could hear the annoyance in Keith’s tone and it made Lance feel frustrated. It wasn’t worth it to feel that way. He needed to stay level headed, even if Keith didn’t want to talk to him. It had been months since they had really talked or laid eyes on each other.

Taking a calming breath, he let his eyes fix Keith with a piercing blue stare. “It’s about Shiro. If anybody can talk sense into him it’s you. You guys have that history being best buds and all, from back in the day at the Garrison. He’ll listen to you.”

There was a shift in Keith’s blue-pink eyes as he gave a small nod of his head, white hair falling into his face. “What’s going on with Shiro?”

“He’s trying to leave the castle and be on his own. He feels like he needs to go, I guess to deal with what happened to him while in Zarkon’s captivity.” He noticed the subtle flinch within Keith. It was hard for either one to remotely acknowledge what had happened to their lover.

If only they had known beforehand.

Keith was thoughtful before his eyes flicked and he met Lance’s gaze. “Listen, I get it, your heart is in the right place, but it’s his choice. If he needs time to work things out for himself it isn’t your call to make. If leaving benefits him, then let Shiro get his peace of mind –. Let him go, Lance.”

This wasn’t what he wanted to hear, but he knew he had a fifty-fifty chance when it came to talking with Keith. “It was a mistake to reach out to you. It’s not like you wanna talk to me or Shiro. Besides, you left without a word, so hey, let Shiro leave as well. Whatever,” he sighed as he frowned. “I’ll talk to Shiro myself. I thought you’d might care about us.”

With that the line went dead and Keith could only stare, eyes wide before his look dampened. He hadn’t meant to upset Lance. 

Leaning his head back he winced. 

Keith did care.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long absence, I got sucked into another fandom and now I'm back.  
> I hope to be progressing quickly on this story, but unlike Trifecta there's no weekly posting schedule.  
> That was too ambitious for me, lol. Glad to be back!!  
> ೭੧(❛▿❛✿)੭೨
> 
> Okay, well Kudos are awesome, bookmarking is cool  
> and leaving a comments is appreciated!  
> (Carm is thirsty for those comments though!)  
> :*･ﾟ☆.｡.:*･ﾟ￡(｡･”･)o[†…Thanks for reading…†]o(･”･｡)β｡.:*･ﾟ☆.｡.:*  
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	3. Commencement

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Will the drama ever stop? Who knows...  
> * ूི-̭͡- ૂ ྀ⁎ꂚᴉᴉᴉ Stay tuned!!

It was the next day when Keith contacted Allura, guilt was still eating at him as Lance’s words echoed hurtfully in his head. What he said, was it right? It didn’t feel that way, but he knew it was the truthful thing to say. If Shiro wanted space, then Lance should allow it. Why would Lance be worried for Shiro going? 

If only Keith hadn’t screwed up somehow! He knew he could be messy with his words, yet –.

If only he had said something instead of just vanishing. No wonder Lance was upset. The Blue Paladin had every right to be and he deserved to get the cold shoulder. Keith agonized over his shortcomings until his sister’s face showed up, she smiled before it shrank. “Keith is everything alright?”

How could he say he messed up, he felt the words right there on his tongue, but nothing came out. “Yeah – well – I.” He struggled, this was something he’d always had issues with. Struggling to convey thoughts and feelings, he couldn’t explain why the words wouldn’t come, he was floundering, and he needed a lifeline.

“Is it about Lance,” she inquired softly. Allura was tossing him the lifeline to keep him afloat, he was so grateful to have such a clairvoyant sister.

“Um yeah,” he mumbled helplessly. “I – uh screwed up. I said something he didn’t want to hear and he’s mad.”

The older teen didn’t look surprised as she pursed her lips for a moment, a quick thought passing behind her eyes. “He did say he was agitated with you, but he didn’t go into any specifics. I was hoping he would confide in me,” she sighed as her shoulders sagged a little. “So, what happened?”

“It’s about Shiro –. It’s about him leaving.”

“Lance knows?” Allura’s blue-pink eyes widen a fraction before lowering. 

Keith could tell that she was quickly drawing conclusions and the wince in her expression said everything. Swallowing his nerves, he looked at her dead-on as if he was standing before her. “I told him to let Shiro go, if this helps him, then Lance needs to be fine with his decision.”

Allura looked away from her younger brother and let out another sigh before fixing him with her gaze. “I do agree with you Keith, but hearing those words coming from you must have struck a nerve in Lance. You did leave the team without saying anything and he must feel abandoned. With both his lovers going in their own directions he must feel like he’s at a crossroads of sorts. Keith, you should reach out and talk to him.” Allura offered kindly as she gave him a small smile.

It helped talking to Allura, but he didn’t know if he could face Lance yet. The way those blue eyes looked so betrayed when he spoke to his boyfriend were haunting. Keith was not known for backing down from a challenge, but this would be a first for him not to face. 

He felt suddenly cowardly. A first for him.

“I can’t Allura – everything I say to him comes out wrong.” His own blue-pink eyes met her disapproving gaze.

“Then nothing will be fixed –. Think of it this way, you’re letting Lance go by not acting, are you going to be okay with that? Not regret it?”

It was his turn to feel his gut twist as he heard words he didn’t want to hear. “You’re right,” he swallowed thickly as he felt a forming lump. “I’ll try to talk to him.” Keith lied and he felt further guilt twist his insides and he diverted his gaze. “I gotta go.”

Allura smiled brightly. “Alright then, I’ll talk to you soon. Bye Keith.”

“Yeah, bye.”

\--

Shiro was finishing the last of his packing, thankful that everything he needed would fit in the ship or bag he was taking. He didn’t have much of anything or possessions, all of his belongings from earth were long gone. It happened when folks thought you were dead and even being in space he didn’t have much to his name. He took the essentials only and raided what he could of the supplies that were on board.

His gray eyes casted to the side, on his bed was Black Lion perched in their humanoid form. The little girl gave a huge toothy grin back at him and it reassured his anxieties. Tonight, he’d finish packing and tell the remaining team he’d be leaving, only Allura knew and possibly Coran. He also felt like reaching out to Keith and letting him know, but his lover had left without a word months ago. He knew Keith was doing well with the blade, but he felt like the former Red Paladin didn’t want to see him. 

He had let Keith down in so many ways just like the rest of the team. He could feel his jaw tighten as he felt the onslaught of emotions as he tried not to tear himself down. It was hard not to fall under the lull of doubt and anxiety.

“Takashi,” Black chided softly, golden eyes narrowing a touch. “Do not do this to yourself,” her soft voice soothed his nerves. He was so entuned with Black that she sensed when his mood would drop. She was always gentle and understanding, he knew with her help and guidance he’d heal. 

This was the right choice. 

A soft knocked pulled him out of his thoughts. It had been so long since someone had knocked on his door, a sobering thought. He paused in his packing as he straightened, his eyes looked to Black and she sat with a small smile on her lips. 

“Come in,” he called and was surprised to see Lance emerge as the teen entered, but not too far in. It was good to see him again.

It felt like a lifetime since he had laid eyes on the Blue Paladin. 

To Shiro, Lance looked soft and vulnerable, his navy eyes twinkled in the light and his skin glowed. Again, it was a lifetime since Shiro had seen him. That was his fault, it was due to his depression and shying away from the team. He swallowed the lump in his throat and felt it dry up. 

“Takashi,” Black called and he forgot about the personification of the mighty Lion sitting on his bed. 

He glanced at her before his eyes fell to Lance once more, the other couldn’t see her. It made him feel like he was going crazy for a moment. He knew better, he hoped.

“Hey Lance, what brings you?” Shiro found his voice after the seconds of quiet.

“Hey,” he greeted as he looked down at the ground as if ashamed or contemplating something serious. “I wanted to talk to you.”

Shiro gave a nod before gesturing the other take a seat at the small desk in his room. Lance pushed from the wall and did just that while Shiro sat down on his bed, crossing his arms or more like trying to. Forgetting that he only had one arm. “What’s going on,” he poised casually. He shouldn’t have been so nonchalant, Lance might misconstrue his delivery as indifferent or aloof which wasn’t how he wanted to come off. It had been so long since they’ve spoken, Shiro had pulled away and Keith had fled and Lance allowed it.

They were all disasters in their own way. 

“Don’t go!” It was a desperate plea, a Hail Mary. 

The thought of Lance knowing his plans had never crossed his mind and that was a total oversight on his part. His eyes grew and his mouth fell open, he spared a quick glance at the tween sitting next to him. Black seemed uninterested and fiddled with her fingers, it looks like he was on his own.

“Please don’t go,” Lance continued, unaware of Shiro’s inner turmoil. “We can help you here if you let us – or let me. R-remember we got you? We really do, please.” The brunette babbled urgently as if Shiro was about to board the ship. “I-I I’m sorry, I overheard you and Allura speaking yesterday and damnit –. Just please don’t go!”

Shiro knew this would be the hardest part, facing Lance. In the several months they had grown close and came together with Keith, he had felt a pull and possibly deep feelings. He wasn’t sure if it could be love, but right now he couldn’t give him, no, either of them the love they deserved. Shiro was broken, fractured in ways he didn’t realize until now. He could see where everything was disjointed within himself, he was scared. So, scared to be close, afraid to be hurt. 

In his mind he knew they wouldn’t hurt him, but there was this crazy fear. One that overtook him when he slept, dreamed and it always twisted to darkness. Shiro swore he could feel Zarkon touch him and it made the bile churn in his gut, threatening to come out as he felt a shout of helplessness in his throat. He couldn’t subject them to it, nor could they ease the pain yet. Maybe once he gotten leagues better and he was steadier could he face them and take their help.

It wasn’t fair to them and he felt guilt. His head dipped, eyes tearing away as he tightened his lip to calm his own emotions.

“Lance, I can’t stay. I have to go.” He was about to say more when the teen abruptly stood up.

“It’s because you feel like we can’t help you here, right?!” 

“Yeah,” Shiro conceded gently as his eyes stayed trained on his feet, unable to meet those searching blues.

“Why?”

Lance deserved to know why, that was something Shiro should supply to make his mind rest. It was easier to identify than actually putting it into words. Shiro felt his anxiety heighten and his fear, whatever it may be grow as well. His eyes darted to the side once again as he looked to Black for guidance. The entity gazed at him pointedly, as if silently telling him to reveal the truths to Lance.

Panic came pouring over him and his mouth opened and closed a few times before he felt the stutter. “I-I I can’t stay,” he regurgitated his previous response. “I can’t because I’m not contributing to the team and I’m not meant to be part of it. I’ve failed you guys and I failed us, Lance.” Shiro could feel the sting of tears and the heat of emotion. Shiro felt a presence and looked down to his side, seeing Black looking up at him as she now stood at his side, a small hand grabbing his one hand. “I’m not the leader like you guys thought I was, I’m broken and can’t be trusted to lead.” A sniffle came from him but no tears fell.

Lance’s lip trembled and his eyes filled with water and he blinked, large tears came cascading down. He took his sleeved arm and wiped stubbornly. “Is that how you feel? Oh my god, Shiro.”

“I do,” he croaked as he bit his bottom lip.

Lance cleared the space as his arms outstretched as he wanted to encompass Shiro in his hold. He paused, seeing the hesitance in those stormy eyes. It was enough to remind him that Shiro wasn’t comfortable enough even for a hug. It made Lance feel a new hurt as more tears came down his face silently. “I wish I could take away what you’re feeling and make you happy. If you can’t find help from us then you should go,” he couldn’t hold back the sorrow in his voice. It hurt that he couldn’t do anything for his boyfriend. “I don’t want you to go, but if it helps you heal then – o-okay.”

It hurt to think this, but Keith was right. Lance should just let Shiro go.

A hand reached out and took hold of him, pulling him close and Lance blinked back his tears in surprise as he was enveloped in strong warmth. It had been forever since he felt Shiro against him and he relished in the touch, his face sunk into that broad shoulder as he squeezed tightly. He knew it took everything for the former Voltron leader to hug him, he could feel the trembles in his form and it made his heart throb painfully as he felt tears falling from his eyes as it soaked into Shiro’s shirt.

Shiro gave a soft chuckle wanting to see that damp face and give a small reassuring smile. When Lance didn’t give, hugging tighter he frowned. “Why are you crying?”

Lance sniffled and pulled back as his face pinched as he tried to keep the sob at bay. “It feels like _goodbye_.” He bit his lip, chin wrinkling at the pressure.

Shiro knew what he meant and he knew he couldn’t assure or confirm coming back. Not until he was on solid ground again and was strong within himself. Shiro felt hollow and he pulled Lance close squeezing him as he wasn’t sure what the future held. “It does feel that way.”

Lance sobbed unable to keep the cry from his voice.

\--

Shiro stood outside of the small shuttle craft with a watery smile, everyone was there from the castle-ship. Hunk and Coran were crying, Allura stood poised, though Shiro could see the touch of sadness in her alien eyes. At the back was Lance, quiet, a shadow of himself as he stood with his shoulders slump. Lance’s eyes conveyed the most, grief stricken, but Shiro knew he had to move forward and right now the only way to do so was this.

He had to commence even if Lance didn’t understand.

After Lance had his cry yesterday he left shortly after that without saying much except ‘ _see you later_ ’. Shiro couldn’t fault him for it.

He was brought out of his thought and stared as the smallest member of the team stood before him. His eyes fell from his lover to Pidge, he met those kind brown eyes and gave a metered smile. Pidge gave their own big brave smile and presented a case to him.

“Allura asked Hunk and I to finish this within two days, we now know why. Glad we got it done, but if there’s any bugs let us know and we’ll fix it lickety-split.” They gave a small sad chuckle. Opening the case, there was an arm that stared back at him and he felt the breath leave him. “Do you have time to put it on and test it out? It’s powered by a Balmeran crystal just like the ship, but on a smaller scale.”

Shiro smiled and gave a nod as he reached out ruffling Pidge's already wild hair. “I have time.”

Allura stepped up in that moment and her expression was one of reassurance. “We’ll need to go to the med bay to attach it. Coran and I will make sure it is quick and painless. It should only take half a varga.”

“Okay, lead the way,” he offered as he was led deeper in. Shiro knew that the others weren’t stalling, he knew they had the best intentions and were trying to make sure he had everything he would need, especially if it included being fully mobile and able bodied. They had the best intentions for him.

Even as he was laid on the table and the new Altean-looking arm attached, the procedure was indeed painlessly quick, and over before he was up again and back at the ship. He felt good, energized as he hadn’t felt so high energy in a while. He attributed it to the new arm, the Balmera crystal giving him a boost. 

Nearing the pod, he’d be piloting for who-knows how long, he began exchanging words with everyone –. Everyone except Lance. 

Shiro tried, he really tried to have some parting words with his lover, but none were had. Lance wouldn’t give him the opportunity, so things were left unsaid and he knew that Lance preferred it that way. It hurt, they were both in pain. He wanted to comfort Lance, but he wasn’t strong enough to corner him and talk.

For now, Shiro would let things lie. 

Getting in he gave a wave to his team and started the pod up and Black was beside him, a constant presence. A comfort. The craft hovered and began to leave the castle-ship and he entered into the deep blackness of space and stars, leaving his friends and loved ones behind.

Shiro commenced on his journey, a start to something better –.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shiro begins his journey of healing while Lance feels left behind...  
> And poor Keith is just lost... ↷( ó╻ò)
> 
> Okay, well Kudos are awesome, bookmarking is cool  
> and leaving a comments is appreciated!  
> (Carm is thirsty for those comments though!)  
> :*･ﾟ☆.｡.:*･ﾟ￡(｡･”･)o[†…Thanks for reading…†]o(･”･｡)β｡.:*･ﾟ☆.｡.:*  
> [cardigan carm's tumblr](https://cardigan-carm.tumblr.com/)


	4. Kindred

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope to post more than once this month for this story since it NaNoWriMo.  
> I'm cycling between three stories right now as they're my only WIPs.  
> As always thanks for reading! （。ˇ ⊖ˇ）

Allura was concerned on all fronts. With Shiro gone, Lance keeping to himself, Keith fleeing to the Blade, and the destruction of Red Lion was adding onto her growing list of troubles. When she took the mantel of leader, she hadn’t thought it looked as if it would be a permanent position. Allura only wanted to assume the role until Shiro was better, but with his departure it now added to her duties. She had enough difficulties getting the coalition off the ground, most areas they saved wanted to look upon the mighty weapon which was Voltron, but without the Red Lion they couldn’t show their true strength. 

This weakened their chances for having a strong alliance to rival the dregs of the Galra. She had to spend extra time schmoozing and convincing those that the liberation of the universe was a worthy cause. Time was precious, and she could not afford to waste it, but it was her duty to be diplomatic even in the face of insurmountable odds.

The Altean Princess found fortitude from her fellow paladins, patience from helping those in need, but her biggest support came from Coran. Though he could be a goof, he was precious and provided her with knowledge and guidance when she needed it most. Coran was like a father, even when she had Alfor, she still looked to Coran with loving wonder in her eye as if he were blood.

Right now, she was recharging her batteries. She sat with Coran taking a quiet moment after meeting with the Puigians, with the help of the Blade of Marmora, they had freed them from the oppression of the Galran empire. It was a draining discussion with the Puigian leader. It had taken too much time, but she was able to sway him to join forces with them. Now she needed a reprieve.

“I know I must concentrate on our war efforts, yet with everything happening.” Her eyes lowered as various emotions flashed. Coran could read them as being dour. His hand touched, stroking her back as she sat close to him. “I’m feeling a little tired, I know I shouldn’t, but we’ve been bombarded, attacked on all fronts. I – I feel that our team is breaking down, running like grains of sand between my fingers. I don’t know how to mend the damage done.”

Coran’s eyes crinkled in the corners as he inhaled deeply as he carefully constructed a response for her. His hand ran soothing circles on a shoulder. “Allura,” he spoke softly, and it was nice with no formal title given as it was the two of them, sitting in the common room. “All you can do is be there for those that remain, take care of your team and in return they’ll be receptive. Also understand, it’s okay to show your vulnerabilities to them. Where you fall short, they’ll be strong, and vise-versa. Keeping a team strong is having a support system, if you just do this one thing it will make you a great leader with a team that trusts you.”

“They will know me as weak if I do that, Coran.”

His hands gently took hold of her shoulders as they faced one another. “Pish-posh Princess, if anything they’ll see that you’re truly close with them. Exposing yourself shows you are trusting, right now that is the foundation you need to build the paladins back up –. Trust. Nothing more or less.” 

Allura’s eyes simmered with relief as she let out a breath. Moving forward she felt her spirits renewed and a newfound energy flow within. Her arms wrapped around, hugging him tightly. “Thank you, Coran.” Her voice was heartfelt, speaking to her father-figure always set her straight, back on the right path.

The swoosh of the doors alerted both Alteans to a newcomer. The pair whipped their heads around seeing Lance come in. Allura brighten as she composed herself letting the gingered man go. “Hey y’all,” Lance greeted with a lackluster wave. 

Coran spared a glance between the two, he gave a crooked grin before he patted his legs. “Well I am going to get back to it –. If anyone needs me, I shall be on the bridge.” He swiftly got up and exited the space.

The two teens stared at each other for a moment, Allura gestured for Lance to come over. She hadn’t seen him except during mission briefings, after Shiro’s departure the brunette had been reclusive, sulking about the castle-ship for days. It was a change of pace seeing him outside of his quarters. “Come sit Lance,” Allura patted the area next to her where Coran had just vacated. 

His posture spoke of defeat, shoulders curled forward, hunching and his hands deep in pockets as he gave a solemn nod. He came around and took residence by her, plopping down into a slouch. “I’m sorry for ghosting you like a tinder date.”

“A what?”

Lance gave a small chuckle and shook his head. “Never mind, it’s an Earth thing.”

“Oh.”

It fell quiet for a couple of seconds before he sat up and looked at her, his blue eyes flickered from one thought to another as he took a deep breath and then releasing it. “I just need to talk to someone – can, I um, can I confide in you?”

It was shocking, he came to her instead of going to Hunk who was his best friend. Allura nodded wordlessly.

“Thanks, I really appreciate it. I just feel like I’ve been sitting on my thoughts too long and I need to just – blah,” he gestured with his hand as if throwing up words, wanting to divulge. “I just feel like I have this weight or something, I hate it. I’m usually a cool guy, but lately I don’t feel so cool y’know. I’ve been twisted up. Do you ever feel that way?”

It took Allura a second to decipher Lance’s words and she understood where he was coming from. They had a commonality between them, though she knew his feeling stemmed from the loss of Shiro and Keith, but she could understand the fundamentals. “Yes Lance, I do.”

\--

“Do you think Shiro is okay?” Pidge asked as they tinkered with a part they had been fiddling with for minutes. “I know it’s only been like a few days since he left, but I – um – just worry about his arm. We really didn’t have a whole lot of fair warning before he left. What if it malfunctions or something?”

Hunk’s kind brown eyes lifted towards Pidge as he huffed thoughtfully. “Well – we just have to hope he comes back if that happens.”

The Green Paladin put down the tool and part they had been messing with. Worry stayed etched onto their face as they looked troubled. “Yeah,” Pidge sighed. “Do you think he’ll come back?”

Hunk frowned thoughtfully before giving a small smile. “I think so, he just has a lot to sort out y’know.” The older teen was quiet for a second or two before continuing. “He’ll be back before we know it and we’ll be a team again –. You wanna get back to those schematics and database searching. This is going to be a bigger project than building a replacement arm.”

“Yeah, but when we get stumped on this project, I still want to build a secondary arm for Shiro, just in case. And no, he’s not getting a weird floaty disembodied arm.” Pidge frowned, hands on hips as if towering over their friend.

“Ooohn,” Hunk groaned in displeasure. “You’re no fun! C’mon Pidgster! It would look so cool.”

“It would be impractical and look bulky and stupid, I’m sorry.”

\--

Shiro thought he’d be lonely in space, but he wasn’t with Black Lion keeping him company. The conversations were easy and other times the comfortable silence was nice. He was feeling a little cooped up, but that was because the shuttle was too small for his large form. When moving around he had to stay perpetually hunched over just to maneuver around in the cockpit, but the back-storage area was a smidgen taller and wider, which was a godsend. He could stretch out back their and rest when needed.

He was unsure where Black was leading him, but he had faith in his partner. Yet, he was still curious (a human trait Black would call it).

“Where are we going Black?” 

The small child like spirit laughed, giving a fanged smile as her freckled face beamed amusement. “A planetoid,” she teased.

Shiro couldn’t help smiling even though she had recycled this answer from before. “You’ve already said that,” he huffed with a small eye roll. “Does this planetoid have a name or inhabitants? Is there anything I should know?”

“It doesn’t have a name.”

Shiro’s brows went flat against his eyes as he sighed in exasperation as he guided the flight pod. “Then if it’s unnamed then there probably no inhabitants.”

“You can assume that, Takashi,” Black’s jovial voice teased once more. The former Black Paladin groaned and fixed her with a mild displeased look. It was nice having her there, but still he wondered why she was trying to help him so much. Was if for the fact she wanted him to pilot her once more or was it something else? He assumed she’d stick with Allura and silently guide her. 

“Can I ask,” he began as this one thought had been in the back of his head since Black had showed up in his room days ago.

“You want to know why I am not with the Princess.” She spoke matter-of-factly. “My physical form is with her and in those times where my strength is required, I will be with her. It will happen and during those times you will be without me. I’ll return as swiftly as I can, Takashi.” She reached out, hand landing on his arm as she ran it soothingly. 

Black’s kind touch didn’t make him flinch but eased him of the unknown tension he held. It made him smile to know that Black was so concerned with his welfare yet, made sure to be there for when Allura needed her.

\--

Guilt seemed a permanent fixture for Keith lately and now was one of those precarious moments. He was feeling guilty, yet he was feeling aroused. He had thought of both Lance and Shiro, it had been months since he laid eyes on them and today their memories were particularly strong. Being here with the Blade of Marmora was lonely, though there were many members about, Keith just hadn’t really connected with anyone other than Ulaz. The older Galran was more like a mentor than friend, just like most of the seasoned Blade. No, Keith missed his mates and knew that they were drifting apart.

He held onto the memories that they created in the short time they were all together. One memory was resonating in the current moment. It’s what made him feel remorsefulness. Keith was thinking about the time Lance had fucked Shiro and how good they both looked together. He missed being intimate with them, but he missed just being around them most of all. 

Keith’s hand stroked over his cock, fisting the column of flesh as his eyes remained closed. The images, sounds, and feelings were engrained heavily in his mind. Shiro’s head resting against his thigh while Lance folded his legs towards his body. Seeing Lance rolling his hips while the wettest and lewdest sounds emitted from Shiro’s pussy. Shiro was making the softest of sounds, breathy and low, but his voice would hitch higher and he’d moan then cry as he came. 

Lance was a moaner while he rocked his pelvis forward, crashing skin on skin as he rawed Shiro. It was a first to see Lance top and Keith found it hot, he was sensual and considerate even as he plowed into Shiro. He made him come multiple times and hearing their voices comingling as they chased release.

Keith’s breath stuttered as his hand moved, twisting about his cock as he remembered that magical morning. He sped up the pace of his hand, taking his other hand he dipped it down lower as he began to roll his balls as his memory shifted from that threesome to something else. His mind began to fabricate a scene, one where it was his turn to have Shiro and Lance sat back, being used as a human chair for Shiro.

Keith was stroking his cock (much like he was now) in the fantasy, his other hand was between Shiro’s massive thighs as he thumbed his clit carefully as he stroked him. Shiro’s huge cock laid against the crease where his thigh met pelvis, it was hard and begging for touch, but none came. Instead Keith’s thumb concentrated it’s focus on rolling the bead of nerves as Shiro’s hips jerked and bucked, he was making the quietest sounds of pleasure as his mouth was occupied by Lances. The two kissed, lost in the affection as Keith continued to tease Shiro’s vagina with knowing focus. 

His other hand stroked his cock leisurely until Shiro was wrecked by a clitoral orgasm. When that happened, Keith would walk over on his knees before positioning. Hips lowering, and cock angled before he slid in and watched his love’s expressive face as he entered him, filling him deeply as he’d bottomed out, pelvis flushed against his pussy. Stroking two-toned hair, he’d smile and praise Shiro before finding those lips and kissing him, waiting to move.

Once Shiro gave his consent, Keith would move, and he knew in himself that he'd tried to keep it an easy and metered pace, but it wouldn’t last. The tempo would change, and he’d fuck him, hard and rough, wanting him to cry out loudly and cling to him, it would make Keith feel so euphoric. He wanted Shiro to come over and over on his cock like he did for Lance, craving to see him a shuddering mess as he could only hold on and do nothing more. This was something he deep down desired.

“Shiroo!” He groaned breathlessly as his head tipped back, resting against the corner of his bed as he sat on the ground. Keith had to hurry, he didn’t have time to waste as he’d be deployed soon with their newest member that just joined the Blade. 

The fantasy continued to play out in his mind, behind dark eyelids as his breath became humid and steadily growing faster. His hand continued to tighten as he grew wetter, precome oozing from the tip of his cock as he stroked coating his hand and cock in it. He let his other hand continued to roll and squeeze his balls as they felt so heavy. He let his legs part further as he fucked imaginative Shiro and kissed Lance while he did it. 

It was a heated picture, Shiro sandwiched and helpless as he was fucked utterly senseless by Keith, enjoying his cock and just accenting each thrust with his voice.

When he imagined Shiro begging for him to come, Keith lost it and began to be drug into a rough toe-curling orgasm. His hand slowed, pumping his engorged dick as he began to come on the floor of his room, white streaks painted in thick stripes as he strangled a groan, trying to stay quiet. “Uhnn!” The restrained cry came from clenched teeth.

When the sparks of release began to fade to afterglow, Keith slumped as he let go of his now flaccid cock. He felt like the room was sweltering with damp air, each of his pants seemed to cling to his lips. His white hair stuck to his face, sticking like uncomfortable tendrils. He swiped with his cleanest hand, trying to slow his breathing and calm his pulse as he was feeling overall good, but his mind didn’t let him fully enjoy it as the guilt came stomping back.

Guilt about leaving both Lance and Shiro, then reducing them to masturbation material. Keith knew he had no right to pine after them since making the choice to leave without a word. Taking Ulaz up on becoming a Blade member without consulting the team was like turning his back, but Keith felt like it was time to go.

Red Lion was gone and his fathers dead, all within the span of one day. It was selfish, but he wanted to do this. Wanted to take up Thace’s mantel and help free the universe, because without Red he couldn’t do it as a paladin, but he could as a Blade. It would be a lonesome path, but Keith was willing to do it. It was his only way to honor both Alfor and Thace while also giving him purpose for something greater.

Lance and Shiro and even Allura would be better off without him. It was best to love them from afar than up close.

A knock on his door disturbed him from his thoughts as he began to scramble from the floor. “One dobosh,” he called as he needed to clean up the evidence of his sex. It would be bad for the new recruit to meet him like this. The Galtean scrambled as he found some dirty cloth and wiped up his cooling come, before getting his own hands. 

Making sure to get his combat suit in order, Keith tucked himself away hastily.

Keith then came to the door hit the panel as it slid open to reveal the other. 

He was shocked, most Blade members usually hid their faces as to keep their identities a secret. No, this new recruit much like Keith had his face uncovered.

The newest Blade member looked to be a hybrid, mixed with Ashmia. He was pale purple with bright green eyes and a tuff of blue and white hair on his head. His full lips pulled back into a smile as he reached his hand out towards Keith. When he blinked the lids of his eyes were a deep blue.

Keith felt too subconscious to shake his hand after rubbing one out and not washing yet, he flushed and looked away. “Hey,” he greeted casually, but moved out of his doorway as he began to take to the halls, brushing passed the handshake. “We need to go to our briefing.”

“Yes, we do.” The Ashmia-Galran didn’t skip a beat and followed behind Keith. “Greetings, I’m Alkant and you’re Keith! It’s nice to meet another who’s a hybrid as well.” Alkant rambled friendly enough and it made Keith pause in walking. 

His blue-pink eyes ran up and down the other before a small smile made home. If Alkant was this friendly and open, then maybe Keith could be friends with him. It was obvious this newbie would probably stick out sorely amongst the seasoned Marmora. “Yeah, welcome to the cause. I hope we can work together on other missions.”

Alkant gave a large beaming smile, cheeks flushing a reddish color under his pale purple skin. “I would like that.” He stuck his hand out to Keith once more.

Keith frowned. “I can’t shake your hand –,” he couldn’t finish the sentence as he flushed.

\--

The backlight of the lab glowed eerie purple as she looked to the form floating in the hyperbolic chamber. Haggar let her bony hand trace the thick glass as she watched as long greyish-white hair haloed around bronze skin. It wouldn’t be long and then Haggar could put Honerva to use. The Galra may not accept her, but they would follow her as Zarkon’s mate. The masses were easy to fool, the wool would be pulled over their eyes and this would quell some of the unrest within their ranks until Zarkon was healed and ready to take the helm.

Walking away from the capsule she began to ready to supply Honerva with more corrupted quintessence. Haggar worked alone in this endeavor, not even her loyal druids knew of the actions she took. It was easier this way, keeping others uninvolved as she weaved her plans and plot. Once Honvera body was ready, she’d impart her knowledge unto her and her clone would be the only one aware of her deeds done, they’d be kindred to one another, able to make sure nothing stood in their way. 

Not even the fractured Voltron Paladins could stand against her if she could unite the Galra Empire.

Haggar would do this out of loyalty and possibly love for her Emperor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nobody is every really alone...
> 
> Thanks for reading! Please leave a comment and let me know what you think!  
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